i come back to reconnect, in the persona of a believer - i have been lost and wandering like the lamb on the edge of the cliff - as i drive past bella vista waters estate everything now seems familiar and comfortable - i connect with the large impressive houses - see their symmetry and order, their power to project the wealth and success that the lord can bring into my life - i see that there are few trees but this is good as their is no covering up of the architectural power that is on full show - the grand houses look down on the hillsong centre announcing its importance, its central place in hillsong life - i park my car and walk up to the centre - past thousands of fellow worshipers who have attended the early morning service this special mother's day - indian, african, chinese, korean, american-african, anglo-european, everybody with smiles and kids in tow - i see sami a young samoan woman that i worked with a three years ago - she is with beautiful child and handsome samoan husband - sami is shocked to see me - delightfully surprised that i had finally found my way to the source - i am honest and tell her that i am writing a story on the hillsong experience - that it is a phenomenon - sami says that she hopes i don't say anything bad - i say no i am just telling a story - we talk briefly about debord's spectacle and she says, yes it is quite a show, and laughs - they are very happy and very warm - the child clenches my finger, connecting - they hug me and shake my hand, connecting - i am early for the service - i collect my mothers day hillsong present at the door - a hillsong capture the moment specially packaged instant camera, so that i can capture the moment of this special day of celebration for the legend mums - her children call her blessed - the word smile written in english, italian, spanish, french, nowegian, german - no chinese, islamic, african, indian, islander - i sit down in the same place as my previous visit but this time there is no girl with lost eyes but a thin Indian man with a look of shellshock - hardened, determined and solitary - there is a clapping, and the choir and musicians advance onto the stage - the singing starts - the giant images flash up on the three twelve by three metre screens - the congregation down on the floor start clapping, singing loudly and jumping up and down in a moshpit of love and surrender - a pop concert rapture of sublime connection - this is a spectacle of lights, sound and images - the slogan welcome home in two metre letters - better one day spent in the house, than a thousand elsewhere - worshipers, warriors, making a difference in our community, building for the future, placing value on womanhood, championing the cause of the local church, to love mercy - the music is loud, an accelerated syncopated drum beat that accelerates into excited revery then slows to beautiful reflection - a sweet smell of teenage spirit - the church is christ's body - what was once the bread, the natural sustenance that sustained life has been replaced by the structure, the building the church, my home - the singing strengthens with everyone raising one, two hands to connect to the lord - sing to the lord, great is our god - and there on the screen the lesson for today, the humble but bold message - YOU'RE HERE TO BE SALT SEASONING - of course, we are just the seasoning on the body of christ - our prayers and faith season the lord - add flavour to the body of christ - just like we add salt seasoning to our roast dinners cooked in our beautiful kitchens in our beautiful houses - bella vista - bella food - there is a loud roar and clapping and brian graces the stage - he talks of miracles and prayers - cancer, hemorrhages - cured - brian tells us that women are good at receiving and giving - they just get on with it - and now we should give - we have freely received and now we should freely give - cheques made out to hillsong are especially generous - generosity that transforms - small cute children of the congregation give big screen testimonials and presents are given out - even a darrel lea mothers day bag - we are shown more ads of future eventful events - this is all about the experience - all about the spectacle - we are coming for the event - the event is the rapture - the experience is the connection of experiencing the sublime feeling of the lord - wrapped up in a total environment where everything makes sense - there is no questioning, only acceptance, love and affirmation - pure concentrated energy directed at the worshipper - there is no dissent, no dialogue , no dialectic, no critical theory - only the answer - a positivist conversation - on the journey of faith - redemption is immediate and complete - the final prayer has come - those of us that have lost our way and need to reconnect are asked to raise our hands high in the air - i raise my hand - i feel the connection with the lord - i feel five thousand people praying for my salvation - i am redeemed - a bible is placed in my hand by david who is so happy that i have chosen the first step on a journey that will completely change my life - i am asked to enrol in a free 3-week course, RECONNECTION - david invites me back to the welcome lounge after the sermon - sharleen feeds me grapes and cakes and orange juice - tom welcomes me and tells me he was once a catholic - he belonged to a religion - but hillsong is not a religion - there are no rules and laws here to interfere - there is just a direct connection with god - david reconnected three yearss ago - two weeks later he closed his eyes and saw jesus standing with all the people david needed to forgive - david's wife just felt god's presence - i sip my gloria jeans coffee, i gulp down my grapes - i promise to return, to take up my new course, everyone smiles and congratulates me on my momentous decision - walking back i have accidently parked in the handicap parking space - thirty three miles from sydney and a thousand miles from care - manly and baulkam hills - i text my friend that i am safe - safe from what - safe from brian, safe from his wife bobby who i have never met, safe from robert, the used car salesman - safe from being being transformed into salt seasoning on the spoils of war - jesus loves me yes he does, why because the bible tells me so - the bible that was once called the bible now rests on my dashboard rebranded - abundant life new testament
