jesus loves me yes i know, because the bible told me so

after a week of failed redemption it is only fitting that i go and see hillsong - especially as yesterday it was preceeded by a viewing of bill viola's video installation at st saviour's church in redfern at the base of the housing commission flats as well as a viewing of charlton heston sacrificing himself as a failed member of the apocolypse old generation for the survival of a new utopian generation in the b-grade 70s movie 'the omega man (all the more powerful seeing it with a couple that are seeking renewal in their own relationshi - the trip to hillsong is timely and will become an exercise in fictocritical writing, just to test myself out - hillsong syncs with barthes (advertising signs and mythologies and images and text as well as guy debord's society of the spectacle - we three, two gay woman and a straight white guy who was once julie - we get 'lost' in the backstreets of redfern only to re-emerge in the toll ways of bauhlkam hills - the weather is fittingly apocalyptic with dark clouds and sweeping rain - we see the macmansions, the gated communities of bella vista estate, the slick headquarters of woolworths - whole estates and shopping centres supposedly ownedby hillsong - we see the centre - the smartly dressed in black parking attendants full of smiles and love - we see the families so multicultural - indian african, and asian mainly - we see the high level of organisation - we see signs for different age groups, all ready to be taught hillsong junior - everyone is relaxed and comfortable - in no hurry but definitely centred and focused - we see a whole community heading towards the doors of the centre - like pied piper drawing people in - like a dawning, a coming, an awakeneing, a communion - we see the gloria jeans coffee carts - as we enter we see and feel the spectacle - it is australian idol in a soft, respectful and spiritual mode - the three giant video screens, the close-ups of the main blonde woman singer, the words to the song subtitled, the arena, the eight lead singers, the fifty person chorus, the two lead guitarists, the drummer, the electric piano - the enthusiasm, the one hand raised in the air signifying the joining, the believing, the recognition of the need to commune and connect - most important of all a sign of total belief and surrender - there are cameras, at least six, as you would see at a 'real' event - the atmosphere is warm and welcoming - we three sit up near the back where everything can be viewed - everybody is standing - i stand/sit next to a young woman who is very attractive - i instantly see the vulnerability in her eyes and her stance - i connect to her and know that i too am very vulnerable - her eyes are confused and vacant - i look around and again i see the multicutural - also attendants in black everywhere with mikes and open eyes - the lead white singer continues to pump up the crowd with love for the lord and god - the choir comes to a crescendo and suddenly on stage we have brian houston, the 'leader' - he is full of love - he connects to individuals he knows in the audience - reads out peoples praises (blue) and prayers (red) makes homely jokes and re-connects to people through soccer teams - we are asked to hug and connect with those near us - i shake hands with the girl and awkwardly hug her she does the same back - for the next ten minutes we hear that brian has visited another new congreagation to the south (like talking about another felow tribe) and that he is on his way to another - that he has written a new book and so has his wife bobbie and that we should buy them - we see giant advertsiements on the screen - we see testimonials - we are asked to give generously as that is the most crucial belief - generosity - it is spelt up plainly on the screens - buckets are efficiently passed around to collect cheques, credit card pledges and even money - i give 50 cents in a blue credit card envelope - the girl gives nothing - i talk to the girl and tell her this is my first time - she is genuinely happy - she has arrived from canada and has been going to hillsong for two years - brian has to leave now -he thanks us for our generosity but he has to go on to the next congregation presumably to collect more money - as he is the 'biggest idol' so he must be the biggest money puller - more singing and then we can sit down and here the sermon of robert - more serious, more of a salesman - in a way more he is more transparent in that he is doing a spiel - the spiel today is funnily enough titled 'the shoulders of god' the anecdote starts with a child he sees after a meeting who thrusts out a drawing to him of what he did in hillsong kindie - he congratulates the child, the father but we learn taht it is only because the child was on the fathers shoulders that the child had the strength and belief to do this - as the sermon progresses we discover that many things are carried on shoulders, mainly lambs and babies, that piss and shit over the person that is carrying them - we are like those lambs, we come from the common ground, the average grass, the boring uneventful average grimy life where workmates hate us, people persecute us, where we commit sins, where we wallow around in the mud, where we are unable to pay our rates, our electricity bills, our mortgages - once we are raised on gods shoulders we can hang onto his ears and piss and shit on him as much as we like and we will still be saved - we will be accepted - we will be made happy - but let us not think too much because robert himself was once a thinking scientist (and messed up+ and his wife was a thinking theologian (and messed up) but they joined together and renounced to stop all this heavy complex thinking and become naive, simple, childlike and just accept the lord and jesus - it is simple, as in the song 'jesus loves me yes i know, because the bible told me so' - it is that simple - the giant words on the screen proclaim 'jesus is god' and the photos in the letters show the landscape and the life that we will be rewarded with - the streets of the 'hills' - (pleasantville - the island - the truman show) some people raise their hands at the end seeking salvation - they will receive a free bible and follow up support to attend special workshops - i say goodbye to the girl - she smiles through me and looks vacant towards the stage juggling her mobile phone - she still stands there as i walk out - they are still singing - they are still smiling - they drink coffee and chat - we drive out of the hills and towards 'sin city' reconnecting with what 'we' know and what 'we' believe in.